So the way I understand it, some girls plan their wedding from the time they’re five until they walk down the aisle, others have never even thought about it, and some of us fallsomewhere in the middle. Me? I’ve thought about it to some degree: I know I want it out of the country, I know I want awesome music all night long, and I know it will probably be really colorful. But beyond that, I don’t know much, including what style dress is most flattering to my body type.

In fact, until now I really only knew one or two of the traditional styles and shapes of wedding dresses.

I’ve schooled myself in wedding dresses and styles, so today I’m going to share what I’ve learned with you lovely ladies…

Body shapes and suggested dress shapes

Hour Glass:

Curvy in all the right places, bust and booty

Sheath, A-line, ball gown, dropped waistline, mermaid

One shoulder, strapless, scoop necklines

Apple:

Smaller shoulders and hips

Empire or ball gown dresses

Strapless or sweetheart necklines

Pear:

Hips are larger than the bust and the waist gradually slopes out to the hips

Empire, A-line, ball gown

Strapless, halter, circular necklines

Rectangle:

Just a tiny bit of curve at the hips, mostly straight torso, shoulders that align with hips

Sheath, empire, mermaid, A-line, ball gown

Portrait or strapless neckline.

Inverted Triangle:

Athletic and strong, wider shoulders and bust with tighter torso and hips

Sheath, empire, ball gown, A-line

Halter, strapless, one shoulder necklines

So this is in no way, the end all be all solution for every women out there, but it’s a decent place to start…so get out there, invite your girlfriends to join you and start trying on dresses!!! Here are some beauties that I’ve had the honor capturing that I wanted to share as inspiration…

xo

I don’t know about you, but the more I think about buying my first family home with my boo, to raise our future schmoos in, the more I freak out and wonder how we’ll be able to compete in this crazy real estate market.  It seems like every day the average price of  a home in the Bay Area climbs drastically… meaning so does the down payment needed to qualify, and the big income needed to carry the monthly payments.

So what do I do when these fears start to creep in?  I talk to my amazing friend Mary Macpherson, who just happens to be one of the top Real Estate agents in our glorious city, not to mention one of the warmest, most motivated, inspiring people I know.  When my wailing starts, she smiles, gives me a hug, and tells me that with proper planning, determination, and guidance from people like her, we will find our way into “our” home.  :)

Mary Macpherson | Paragon Real Estate Group

Tips on Buying Your First Home:

1.       Ask your friends for advice. Your friends and family who have bought in your area undoubtedly have some war stories to share. Ask them who their agent was, and if they would recommend that person.

2.       Visit open houses, not only to look at homes, but to ‘interview’ prospective agents. Agents who work open houses are there for one of two reasons: they are the actual listing agents for those homes and are there to sell them, or they are agents in the same brokerage as the listing agents and have asked them to work their open houses to meet buyers and sellers. For new agents, open houses are typically their best ‘prospecting’ tool, until they develop a referral base of their own. Spend time in the open houses, and ask the agents about how they work with buyers to help them find their homes. Don’t dismiss “new” agents – some of these agents are the hardest working in the business, and will give incredible customer service. What’s key is the brokerage they work for – some are far better than others, offering wonderful support, training, tools and management. You’ll glean a lot of information from visiting open houses and seeing who the true professionals are.

3.       Interview agents. Even though the seller typically pays the buyer’s agent’s commission, this agent is still working for you and with you, hand in hand, through one of the biggest financial and emotional decisions of your life. Interview at least three agents, check references, ask for their recent success stories. What can they do for you that will give you an edge? Agents get paid big bucks, and you don’t want to just receive weekly mass emails with new listings. You can check that yourself with the zillion and one online real estate search portals. Are these people connected to off-market listings? Will they go the extra mile?

4.       Once you decide on an agent, COMMIT 100% to them. Let them be your man on the street. Give them all the information you can, and be open to their suggestions. My clients who are the most successful in their house hunting ventures are the ones who regard me as their trusted advisor and ally.

5.       Be ready to pull the trigger. Get all of your financial documents in order, and get pre-approved. The San Francisco market moves faster than most can handle, and the early bird almost always catches the worm. Don’t be afraid to write “pre-emptive” offers – those offers that are presented before an actual offer date. But remember that pre-emptive offers need to be compelling enough for the seller to forego other offers that might come in on the offer date. Coming in at full price isn’t compelling. Ask your agent for comparable sales in the area (if you’ve vetted your agent well, they’ll do this for you instinctively).

6.       Put yourself in the sellers’ shoes. When you finally sit down to write an offer on the home of your dreams, remember that the #1 rule in negotiation is to think like the other side. Find out why the seller is selling. What will help your offer? Price is obvious, but are there terms that will help? Do they need extra time to move? Do they want to buy something else? Make sure your offer reflects your understanding of their needs and wants, and then put it in a written letter as well. There’s nothing that speaks to a seller more than a buyer who is committed to closing and sincere in their love of their home, and someone who is empathetic to their plight.

7.       Due your due diligence. Just because the market is competitive (when isn’t it?), it doesn’t mean you have to throw away your rights. If you’re buying a car, you’d kick the tires. If you’re spending hundreds of thousands, or even millions, then you better be sure the house isn’t a money pit. Don’t be afraid to ask for a credit, price reduction, explanation, etc., if something turns up during your inspection period that is cause for concern.

8.       Buy with your heart – and your head. I have two questions I ask my buyers before we write an offer: 1) Will you be truly happy when I hand you the keys to your new home? And 2) If you, like many transient San Franciscans, have to call me in 5-10 years to sell your home, is this a wise investment? Take the time with your agent to think about why you want this home (don’t let the manic market drive you to do something you’ll regret) and talk about why the home is or isn’t a good investment (above all, location, location, location).

9.       Be prepared for the ups and downs of an escrow. Since the 2008 mortgage meltdown, lenders are asking for everything from your 6^th grade report card (ok, that line was borrowed from a loan agent friend of mine) to your 1992 tax returns. Well, not really, but it certainly can feel like it.

10.   Enjoy! You’ve come a long way from meeting agents, looking at open homes, to gathering tax returns and signing documents. Try to plan a week off from work right after you move in. Don’t schedule any big remodeling jobs yet, if you can. Get a feel for your new home. Live in it and get to know it better. Then, go to town to get it just the way you want. You deserve it!

About the Author

Mary Macpherson

About the Author

Mary Macpherson

Mary`s tenacity and commitment to her clients have put her in the top 5% of all agents in San Francisco – an honor that has earned her placement in the city`s Top Agent Network (www.topagentnetwork.com). She has bought, sold and invested in San Francisco real estate for many years and puts her extensive knowledge of neighborhoods, property values, and market trends to work for her clients. She offers boundless enthusiasm, a tireless work ethic and an absolute commitment to protecting their interests—in what is typically one of the largest, most complicated and most emotional financial transactions of their lives.

For her Buyers, Mary promises she will make every effort to find them the home they will love and enjoy for years to come; aggressively negotiate the best attainable price and terms on their behalf; make the process as smooth, understandable and stress-free as possible; and manage the transaction so that they are fully aware of the condition and circumstances of the home they purchase. As a longtime homeowner in San Francisco, Mary is committed to helping others realize the same dream: owning a home in this beautiful city.

For her Sellers, Mary offers hard work and expertise; the most comprehensive marketing plan in the business; aggressively negotiate the highest possible sales price; and transaction management skills to make the process as easy and straightforward as possible, with a minimum of time, effort and stress on her clients` part.

Mary`s family lives near Fisherman`s Wharf and her children attend local schools.

Mary Macpherson | Paragon Real Estate Group

1400 Van Ness Ave | San Francisco, CA 94109

Cell: 415.846.4685 | Fax: 415.701.2671

DRE# 1839976

www.MaryMacphersonSF.com

Member, Top Agent Network (SF’s Top 5%): www.topagentnetwork.com

With the holidays basically at our door step I figured now was as good a time as any to share some fun tips I’ve learned over the years to help you get the most bang for your buck with your next family portrait.  The way I see it, is if you’re going to take the time and spend the money to have a professional photographer do your family portraits (SEARS doesn’t count! J/K…kinda) then make sure you do your homework before hand so that you love your images for years to come!

I used my good friends the Smiths as examples for a lot of the tips because they do a great job brainstorming, being creative and color coordinating (not matching…very different).  These days there are so many resources out there to help you come up with fun, silly, adorable memories so use them.

Your clothes represent your style and personality so make sure that comes into play when your choosing you and your families outfits.  I don’t recommend “matching” as much as I encourage coordinating (see the image above).  But like I said this is all a personal preference and my goal is to help you create your personal memories…so do what feels right to you!

Wear your favorite color! You want to look like yourself in your photos so let your personality shine through! Slightly darker shades will ensure that the focus is on your face, not on the bright shades in the photos. But be careful of large or bold patterns, they can be distracting, as can text on shirts.

Wear something that flatters the part of your body you love the most. If body conscious, try wearing shirts with sleeves instead of tank tops and tube tops. Avoid clothes that are too tight, show panty lines, etc.

Girls, accentuating your waist with an accent belt or A-line shirt/dress can be very flattering.

You want your pictures to appear timeless, so try not to be too trendy.

Layers can be flattering on both girls and guys.

Wear something you are OK with getting dirty (you never know!)

Makeup looks best when natural, especially when it comes to foundation and bronzer. It’s best to accentuate your eyes and lips with some great eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick.

Avoid clothes that look too casual, fraying, tears, etc.

There are so many fun ideas out there but you can’t depend on your photographer to know what they all are so do your research.  You may have heard of this new website called Pinterest?  It’s amazing for helping you brainstorm ideas (it can also get overwhelming so be careful not to over do it!).

Ask your friends for fun ideas (we all have that really creative friend…this is a great time to use them!)

I always encourage parents to let their kids bring the thing they are really into that year because it’s all part of making great memories.  It doesn’t have to be in every picture either, just a few.  Plus it can help be used as great bribery!

I had a stuffed bunny when I was kid and I LOVED her but alas I lost her, and I would love to have a picture of it somewhere.  So whether is a bunny, a truck, a crown or guitar bring it, so you can pull out the picture when your kids bring home their first boyfriend or girlfriend and really embarrass them!

Bring fun props with you, if you’d like. Anything that represents you! I’m always up for any ideas you have to make your session unique!

Props and costumes can be a fun way to break the ice and help get everyone out of the awkward stage of stale smiles and personally I think that fun/funny pictures make the best memories anyways!

Remember this!  Maybe you don’t need to family pictures every year once your kids are in their teens and early twenties, but I totally recommend doing it every couple years…it’s memories people…this is your life flashing before your eyes so make sure that when you’re old a grey you have something to look back at to help you remember how good your life was!

I hope this has been helpful and I really, really, really look forward to helping you make some amazing memories with your family this year…it’s never too late to start!

xo,

CJP

Guest Feature
Elbert Taylor with Farmer’s Insurance

When you first get married, there are so many exciting new experiences to look forward to as a couple. Insurance likely is not on that list. Couples, however, are often able to access better rates and better coverage than either spouse would have individually. Some of the benefits of combining insurance policies include discounts for having multiple policies with the same company and getting the same coverage for less. Here are the most common types of insurance and some of the marital benefits.

1. Car Insurance
You might not think that a 25-year-old single man is any different than when he gets married the next day. In the eyes of insurance underwriters, however, he is a completely new man and a much lower insurance risk once he says “I do.” Married men attract much lower car insurance rates than their single counterparts. Statistically, they get into fewer accidents. When you get married, one of the first telephone calls should be to the insurance agent to obtain a new quote.

If both spouses have vehicles and have insurance policies with different companies, bring them both to one company. Many insurers offer discounts for multiple-car families. Be sure to ask for several quotes, both from your existing insurers and from their competition to get the best price.

2. Life Insurance
Life insurance premiums are also based in part on marital status so renewals may be less expensive after marriage. Your combined income replacement needs may also change. For example, if you each owned a home with a mortgage while you were single, after marriage you may choose to sell one of the houses and pay off that mortgage. That leaves you with less overall debt to pay off if one of you dies. If either of you came into the marriage with minor children, your life insurance needs may also decline as the spouse’s income will help contribute to the financial needs of the kids. When you get married, it is important to sit down with your insurance agent and review both of your policies together. Don’t forget to think about plans with savings benefit for the little ones.

3. Health Insurance
If you and your new spouse both have group health insurance plans at your places of employment, they are likely to be very different in their coverage and their premiums. It is often less expensive to add a spouse to a group health plan than to maintain separate plans. Compare both plans and choose the one that most closely matches your needs. If either you or your spouse is self-employed and the other works for an employer, covering the self-employed spouse under the group plan will usually be less expensive than maintaining an individual plan

4. House Insurance
House insurance consists of both insurance on the structure itself (if you own the home) and insurance on the contents – all of your “stuff.” Contents insurance is needed whether you own or rent. The first way that you and your spouse may save money on house insurance is if you go from two homes down to one. One entire policy goes away. The second reason why it may be less expensive is because it is cheaper to cover your combined contents than it was under separate policies. Let’s say that you have about $200,000 in furniture, clothes, kitchen equipment and everything else that is in your home. The contents portion of your insurance policy may be $300 per year. Your spouse may have $50,000 in contents and is paying $75 per year. Combining the $250,000 in contents into one policy may only cost $325, saving you $50 per year.

The Bottom Line
It may not be the best part of getting married, but saving money on insurance is one of the best financial benefits of matrimony.

Elbert Taylor
Farmers Insurance
386 29th St
San Francisco, CA 94131-2305
License Number: 0E09797
415-285-4800 (Office)
415-285-4801 (Fax)
etaylor1@farmersagent.com
http://www.farmersagent.com/etaylor1

Planning your wedding is hard work; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Whether it’s a small, intimate backyard gathering or a huge, elaborate celebration, there’s a lot to do. So I’ve been gathering some simple tips (stay tuned for the detailed tips) for my couples to help them survive this wild ride!

 1) ) Join a wedding community such as  A Practical Wedding, Wedding Chicks, Once Wed, Off Beat Bride, I Do Venues etc.  Follow the blog, take part in the conversations, reach out and ask questions.  It’s important to know that there is a community of people out there that know and understand what you’re going through and have fabulous advice to share!

2) Get the right vendors for you.  Do your research and make sure you are going to get what you expect and deserve.  Talk to them over the phone, via skype and if you can, meet them in person to make sure your personalities click.  Ask for references and read their reviews (on their website or Yelp etc).  Make sure you have a contract with each and every one of them!  We are all here to help you achieve the best day of your life, so make sure we are the right people for the job!

3) Talk to and lean on the vendors you already have!  We are all in the wedding industry, which means we have worked with all kinds of caterers, DJ’s, planners, make-up artists, videographers, etc., and we can help pair you with someone who is just right for your big day!  Use your resources to your advantage; we’re here to help.  

On that note I have a vendor page on my site if your in need of awesome people: http://173.255.253.231/chloejackman.com/public/info/vendors/

4) Open an email account just for the wedding.  This is a simple yet very important tip: a way to keep everything wedding-related organized. Also, it gives both you and your boo (fiancé) access to all the same information without overwhelming your daily life.

5) Make a binder!!! This is a great way to keep everything organized and in one place: from price lists to contracts to colors to contacts to samples and so on.  There’s a lot of information to gather and track, so this will make the planning process way easier and less stressful. And make it fun/creative/cute… that always helps me get more into it!

6) Make a Pinterest page!  Maybe you’re not into Pinterest, or maybe you don’t know what it is (If that’s the case let me know and I’ll walk you through it).  But I think it’s an essential tool for gathering inspiration and ideas. Keep in mind that you can OD on it and become overwhelmed, so try to keep your focus on searching for specific things you’re in need of: hair ideas, center pieces, color schemes, nail polish designs, favors, and other details. In order to prevent ODing, most of my brides swear off it one or two months before the big day, so as not to overwhelm themselves with new ideas.

7) Most importantly make sure to take ‘non-wedding’ time out for each other.  Don’t lose focus on what really matters which is the love between you and your fiancé!

No matter what, this is going to be one of the most amazing days of your life and I hope to be there to enjoy it with you, but if I’m not please let me know how it goes!

xo,

Stress can get the best of you while planning a wedding, raising your first (and then maybe your second and third) child, starting a new job, going through a break-up, college, buying a house (especially in this market!)… the list goes on.  Stress is a part of our lives, and we can either choose to ignore and suppress it until it rears its ugly head, or we can face it, breathe it in and be the boss of our reality.

Owning my own business, I have chosen to surround myself with like-minded people who can offer input, advice and understanding to help me manage my stress.  One of those people is my good friend Gina Zappariello of Pathfinder Coaching: today she is going to break down four easy ways for us to de-stress.  Thanks Gina!

“She had finally allowed her negative feelings to surface, feelings that had been repressed for years in her soul. She had actually FELT them, and they were no longer necessary, they could leave.” Paulo Coelho

How many times have you shut out the feelings you are having when you are under stress, believing that if you just ignore the feelings they will eventually go away? How often is that method successful?

For many of us, we have learned over the years to suppress our negative feelings, and not fully experience them, believing they were bad for us. In doing so, we are merely putting them aside briefly, but we’re never really getting rid of them.

All feelings, whether positive or negative, have validity and should be experienced. From experience comes learning. From learning comes growth. It’s how we handle the negative feelings that will have a detrimental effect on us.

The next time you are feeling stressed, try these 4 Easy Steps to De-Stress. The more you practice these steps, the more they will become a natural part of your life.

Step 1:

BREATHE. When you feel that tightness in your chest, neck, shoulders, etc. that comes with stress, pause and take in a deep breath through your nose counting to 5 slowly and let it out through your mouth, counting to 5 slowly. Try to fill your lungs to capacity each time, and feel your stomach extend. Do this 3 times.

Step 2:

NOTICE. Without judgment, notice and name what it is that is causing your negative feelings. You could feel stress, guilt, overwhelmed, angry, anxious. Just be aware of it. Don’t try to explain it. Simply say to yourself: “I’m feeling _______.” Say it out loud.

Step 3:

AFFIRM. Again out loud, affirm yourself with an affirmative statement or mantra. Make one up yourself or use one of the following statements:

“I am doing the best I can.”

“I can handle this feeling and manage my day.”

“This feeling of _____ will soon pass.”

“I am safe and I am loved. I can handle whatever I am feeling.”

“I love myself. I will take care of this feeling later on today.”

Steps 1-3 help you notice what you are feeling without judgment, and be present so you can move through your day in a calmer frame of mind. However, as I previously stated, there may be a powerful learning in the stress or difficult feeling that you might want to explore. So therefore, I recommend moving to Step 4, even if it is later on in the day. This step proves you can take care of yourself, and as you get better at it, your stressful or difficult feelings will become easier to handle.

Step 4:

REFLECT AND LEARN: for this step, find a time where you can reflect on your feelings uninterrupted. It may only be a few minutes, but it should be in a quiet place free of distractions. Consider:

What is important about the feeling of _____ that you had today?

And

What do you need to learn from it?

Avoiding our unpleasant feelings and stress may help us get through a difficult day or week, but it can be a destructive habit which actually increases our stress in the long run. Our feelings show us who we are – and when we avoid looking at what we feel we literally abandon our ‘selves’ – removing the ability to learn what our feelings are telling us. When we allow our feelings and look at them without judgement, we not only learn from them but we also find that our feelings ‘move on’ – because we’ve got the message – and they’re not needed any more.

About the Guest

Professional Coach, Experienced Educator and Transformational Leader.

I coach people who are struggling to move past personal and professional obstacles and move toward LIFE: Living In Full Empowerment.

*Interested in working with Gina? Here’s how to get in touch with her!

Website: pathfinder-coaching.com  (PS I did her head shots!)

Book Coaching Sessions Online:  http://pathfindercoaching.genbook.com/

Coaching Referral Service:  www.noomii.com/users/gina-zappariello

Skype:  coachginaz

Cell:  415-902-4977

I have always been intrigued by acupuncture, and I wish I hadn’t waited 30 years to try it because it has changed my life!  When I met Denise about a year ago, I was in serious pain; my right shoulder, arm, and wrist had to be in a brace most of the time, and I was losing feeling and strength in my hand. Needless to say I was in trouble… a photographer who can’t use her shooting hand/arm or a computer due to pain isn’t going to be very good at her job.  So, when I met my acupuncturist Denise at the networking group we are part of and felt her calm, caregiving energy, I knew it was time to try it.  I was blown away after the first session!  I was beginning to think I would need surgery for my carpel tunnel syndrome, but instead I started seeing Denise regularly, and within weeks I was back to 100%.  AMAZING!!! I can’t say enough wonderful things about her: she is my go-to person whenever I start feeling pain, and 90% of the time she can make it go away.

In her post, Denise is gonna talk specifically about acupuncture during pregnancy.  I know that when the day comes that we choose to have children, Denise will be play a huge role in my pregnancy.

Thank you for changing my life!!!

P.S.  Did you know that in Chinese medicine they can tell your current general health just by looking at your tongue…AMAZING!!!!

Acupuncture in pregnancy

by: Denise Cicuto 

Is acupuncture safe during pregnancy?
Yes. Licensed acupuncturists are trained to know what acupuncture points and herbs are safe to do and which should be avoided during pregnancy.

What about fertility? Can acupuncture help me get pregnant?
Yes. Acupuncture alone or combined with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) treatments can help women get pregnant. Once you are pregnant, regular acupuncture sessions can help make sure you have a healthy pregnancy.

What other conditions can acupuncture help with during pregnancy?
Acupuncture can help with conditions such as morning sickness, back pain, premature cervical ripening, preeclampsia (pregnancy-induced hypertension), fatigue, heartburn, constipation and gestational diabetes.

When it’s almost time for the baby to make his or her appearance in the world, acupuncture can help prepare the mom for labor and delivery. Some acupuncturists are available to do acupuncture or acupressure in the delivery room (depending on whether it’s allowed in the hospital).

What about care after pregnancy?
Acupuncture as after-care for new moms is really important. Fatigue and depression are two of the common things that happen after delivery. Regular acupuncture and moxibustion are great to help moms recover and get stronger. Some acupuncturists make house calls for women during the first month after pregnancy.

Denise Cicuto is a Licensed Acupuncturist and Chinese Herbalist specializing in Women’s Health and in Immunity. She has offices in San Francisco’s Richmond district and in the East Bay on Alameda.

www.cicutoacupuncture.com

415.404.6109

Cheers to your happy, healthy pregnancy!!!!

So I’m crazy excited for today’s Fab Friday, featuring my good friend Julie Barro of The Happy Healthy You.  Julie and I met about a month before her May wedding at an amazing woman’s networking and empowerment group we are part of, and we instantly loved each other!  One of the first things I felt being in Julie’s presence was her positive, calm, and grounding energy, which is why it’s clear she’s found her calling in helping people feel the same way.  As most of you know I’m not married (yet!), but I’ve always worked to put myself in my couples’ shoes (especially my brides, since most of the stress tends to fall on them), so I could try to understand the chaos and pressures of wedding planning and offer good advice for how to cope.  Since Julie just went through this process recently, I naturally decided for her expertise on both surviving and thriving through wedding planning and life in general!

Thank you Julie!!!

Below is a picture from Julie & Angelo’s post wedding winery lunch that I shot and had a blast at!  xo

Dearest Beautiful Bride,

Having just recently gotten married, I know how stressful and busy the time leading up to your big day can be.

I want to share a few things you can do to help you relax and get ready to enjoy the magic of the wedding weekend.   We live our lives so fast that it’s incredibly important to take the time to slow down and connect to yourself.  This way, you’ll be so empowered by your inner beauty that your outer beauty will radiate from within.

6 months pre-wedding: FLIRT

Yes, I recommend you start “flirting” more than ever before.  Smile at strangers. Wink at bank tellers. Nod. Touch. Make eye contact and connect with everyone around you. We think about flirting as seduction but it actually just about owning your feminine power. When you connect with others around you, you feel more connected to yourself. You feel sexy and radiant. Flirting is really just about being in that place of confidence that everyone around you is better because you are in their presence. WInk. Wink. Nudge. Nudge.   SMILE: You’re the beauty bride!

3 months pre-wedding: SWEAT

Move your body. When you are in your body, it’s much harder to abuse your body. Some people love yoga, some like the gym, others enjoy swimming, kick-boxing, dancing….can you find your version of pleasurable movement? Maybe it’s just dancing around your living room to your favorite song for 3 minutes. Dance it out. Sweat it out. Enjoy your life. It’s actually quite fun!

1 month pre-wedding: READ BY CANDLE LIGHT

Light candles right before you crawl into bed with your favorite book. So simple and sweet.  It will help you relax and unwind at the end of each day.  Beginning a ritual like this the month before your wedding will dramatically decrease your stress.

2 weeks pre-wedding: GET A MASSAGE

Have someone touch you!  There is nothing that will more quickly connect you to your body and your sexiness than having an incredible massage.  Not only will you feel more relaxed, the massage will also help to move stagnant energy and release stored toxins allowing you to feel totally refreshed and renewed.

1 week pre-wedding: SURRENDER

7 days until the wedding.  There is only so much you can do at this point.  I recommend you chose to let go of anything isn’t done at this point.  When you surrender, no set backs can get you down because you know how to look for the lesson in everything. Challenges are mere detours on this amazing adventure we call life. When things don’t go according to plan, you’re just being redirected. Say thank you.   You always have a choice:  You can choose to let something bother you or you can choose to take a deep breath and know everything will be just find.

Weddding Day: APPRECIATE YOUR AWESOMENESS!

You are the only version of you that has even been created. The things you used to view as insecurities are actually what make you perfectly you. You are one of a kind. You have so many special qualities. You are strong. You are beautiful. You only have one precious moment on this earth…can you live it with no regrets? Remember that the next time you walk into a room. Stand in yourself! You are perfection in feminine form!  Own that feeling as you walk down the aisle.

About Julie!!!

Julie Santiago is a former Wall Street trader turned Holistic Health & Happiness Coach after realizing that her health and happiness were inextricably linked.  She now shows women how to step into their purpose, live life fully and play like they never have before so they can be outrageously happy.  If you’re interested in any of Julie’s work, you can find more info at www.thehealthyhappyyou.com

I spend a lot of time watching couples and friends interact, seeing how they complement each other and watching their love grow, develop and thrive.  Having parents who are divorced, but dating someone whose parents have been married for 30 years, I often contemplate what it takes to make a relationship work (I would also like to mention that all my clients to date are still together… I like to take credit for that but really it’s because they all hecka love each other and are willing to put in the effort to make it work!).  With all this heavy love-related information floating around in my head, I’ve begun talking to family therapists and mediators to find out what kinds of issues are most common in the separations/divorces they deal with, and to get their insight on how most of it could be avoided.

This brings me to Mandi, who wrote our guest feature today.  Mandi is a Marriage & Family Therapist (you can read more about here at the end of the blog), and she notes the importance of getting some counseling before your big day (or after, if that’s the way it worked out), to discuss the issues that can and most likely will come up in the course of a lifetime together.  Let’s be honest people, forever is a long ass time: most of us won’t have friendships as long as our relationship, so it’s important understand how to make love last beyond the early years (often full of play and party) into the grown-up chapters of life dealing with money, children, in-laws, sex (or the lack thereof), things you have in common, and the things you can’t stand!  Thanks to Mandi for her insights and wisdom.

Because let’s face it…we all want our own version of “Happy Ever After.”

xo,

Why Premarital Counseling is Beneficial for All Couples

by Mandi Armond

 Getting engaged is one of the most exciting times in a couple’s life together. Unfortunately, the engagement period is often consumed by wedding planning and not necessarily preparation for what’s to come afterwards, marriage. In a country where the divorce rate can reach up to 50%, it’s surprising that more couples do not invest the time and effort into preparing their marriages for success. Premarital counseling is designed to help couples work through current issues, plan for how to navigate future problems, and strengthen their relationships. The process is often described as fun and insightful and can, according to some studies, lower the possibility of divorce by 30%.

Premarital counseling is generally conducted by a licensed therapist or member of the clergy. Depending on the specific program, it’s likely that couples will complete discussions, exercises, and thoughtful practice of important relationship skills. Programs such as PREPARE/ENRICH also offer couples a detailed assessment of the strengths and opportunities for growth in their relationship. Specific topics that are likely to be addressed include communication, conflict resolution, finances, relationship roles, intimacy, and personality differences. Regardless of what you focus on in session, it’s a great way for couples to affirm to each other that the quality and strength of their marriage is a priority.

No matter your religious affiliation, length of time together, sexual orientation, age, or relationship strength, premarital counseling can be beneficial. For couples that already have a strong foundation it can reinforce good habits and deepen their bond. For couples that need more assistance, it can be a great venue to get expert guidance on how to effectively negotiate and overcome issues. When couples are on the fence about whether it’s necessary, I always invite them to think of premarital counseling as preventive care for marriages. If you put in the work now, you’ll enjoy a healthier, more fulfilling marriage later.

About the Guest Blogger:

Mandi Armond is a Marriage & Family Therapist Intern that practices within the non-profit agency, Grateful Heart Holistic Therapy in San Francisco, CA. She specializes in premarital counseling using the #1 premarital assessment and program, PREPARE/ENRICH. Mandi offers traditional one-on-two premarital counseling, as well as one-day workshops for engaged couples. For more information, please visit her website, www.mandiarmond.com.