xo,

Mar and Jon both come from large families full of love, and that was totally clear on their wedding day.  After attending and shooting their engagement party, I was able to meet much of Jon’s family and see how well the two families were going to blend together!  On their wedding day, as tensions and stress can tend to accumulate with so much to accomplish in so little time, it was so sweet to see siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and parents all doing their part and playing their role to help make this merry matrimony happen.

As with most of my brides, Mar confided in me once or twice that she wasn’t sure how the day would turn out, having never done anything like it before. I responded with the same thing I tell all my couples with similar concerns:  “It’s going to be perfect, because it’s all about your love for each other.  The rest is just icing on the cake… literally.  Besides, you’re not supposed to be an expert at this, because that would just mean you got married all the time!”

Despite Mar’s concerns, let me tell you: down to every last detail, their wedding was STUNNING!  Her gorgeous beaded Sottero Midgley dress that trailed long and gracefully behind as she made her way down the aisle of St. Paul Church.  The fabulous salmon colored bridesmaids dresses on the beautiful bridal party, complemented by the grey tuxedos that Jon and his handsome groomsmen wore.   The centerpieces that stood tall on the tables with pastel flowers draping off of them. The cake… can we talk about this gorgeous 4 tiered cake?  It was so delicately adorned with detailed designs and colorful flowers; it almost looked too good to eat!  All these wonderful aspects and so much more made this wedding perfect in every way and blew everyone’s socks off!

I can’t wait to hear all about their amazing honeymoon to the Virgin Islands (they just got back).  Congratulations love birds… we couldn’t be happier for you both!!!

xo,

 

Planning your wedding is hard work; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Whether it’s a small, intimate backyard gathering or a huge, elaborate celebration, there’s a lot to do. So I’ve been gathering some simple tips (stay tuned for the detailed tips) for my couples to help them survive this wild ride!

 1) ) Join a wedding community such as  A Practical Wedding, Wedding Chicks, Once Wed, Off Beat Bride, I Do Venues etc.  Follow the blog, take part in the conversations, reach out and ask questions.  It’s important to know that there is a community of people out there that know and understand what you’re going through and have fabulous advice to share!

2) Get the right vendors for you.  Do your research and make sure you are going to get what you expect and deserve.  Talk to them over the phone, via skype and if you can, meet them in person to make sure your personalities click.  Ask for references and read their reviews (on their website or Yelp etc).  Make sure you have a contract with each and every one of them!  We are all here to help you achieve the best day of your life, so make sure we are the right people for the job!

3) Talk to and lean on the vendors you already have!  We are all in the wedding industry, which means we have worked with all kinds of caterers, DJ’s, planners, make-up artists, videographers, etc., and we can help pair you with someone who is just right for your big day!  Use your resources to your advantage; we’re here to help.  

On that note I have a vendor page on my site if your in need of awesome people: http://173.255.253.231/chloejackman.com/public/info/vendors/

4) Open an email account just for the wedding.  This is a simple yet very important tip: a way to keep everything wedding-related organized. Also, it gives both you and your boo (fiancé) access to all the same information without overwhelming your daily life.

5) Make a binder!!! This is a great way to keep everything organized and in one place: from price lists to contracts to colors to contacts to samples and so on.  There’s a lot of information to gather and track, so this will make the planning process way easier and less stressful. And make it fun/creative/cute… that always helps me get more into it!

6) Make a Pinterest page!  Maybe you’re not into Pinterest, or maybe you don’t know what it is (If that’s the case let me know and I’ll walk you through it).  But I think it’s an essential tool for gathering inspiration and ideas. Keep in mind that you can OD on it and become overwhelmed, so try to keep your focus on searching for specific things you’re in need of: hair ideas, center pieces, color schemes, nail polish designs, favors, and other details. In order to prevent ODing, most of my brides swear off it one or two months before the big day, so as not to overwhelm themselves with new ideas.

7) Most importantly make sure to take ‘non-wedding’ time out for each other.  Don’t lose focus on what really matters which is the love between you and your fiancé!

No matter what, this is going to be one of the most amazing days of your life and I hope to be there to enjoy it with you, but if I’m not please let me know how it goes!

xo,

I spend a lot of time watching couples and friends interact, seeing how they complement each other and watching their love grow, develop and thrive.  Having parents who are divorced, but dating someone whose parents have been married for 30 years, I often contemplate what it takes to make a relationship work (I would also like to mention that all my clients to date are still together… I like to take credit for that but really it’s because they all hecka love each other and are willing to put in the effort to make it work!).  With all this heavy love-related information floating around in my head, I’ve begun talking to family therapists and mediators to find out what kinds of issues are most common in the separations/divorces they deal with, and to get their insight on how most of it could be avoided.

This brings me to Mandi, who wrote our guest feature today.  Mandi is a Marriage & Family Therapist (you can read more about here at the end of the blog), and she notes the importance of getting some counseling before your big day (or after, if that’s the way it worked out), to discuss the issues that can and most likely will come up in the course of a lifetime together.  Let’s be honest people, forever is a long ass time: most of us won’t have friendships as long as our relationship, so it’s important understand how to make love last beyond the early years (often full of play and party) into the grown-up chapters of life dealing with money, children, in-laws, sex (or the lack thereof), things you have in common, and the things you can’t stand!  Thanks to Mandi for her insights and wisdom.

Because let’s face it…we all want our own version of “Happy Ever After.”

xo,

Why Premarital Counseling is Beneficial for All Couples

by Mandi Armond

 Getting engaged is one of the most exciting times in a couple’s life together. Unfortunately, the engagement period is often consumed by wedding planning and not necessarily preparation for what’s to come afterwards, marriage. In a country where the divorce rate can reach up to 50%, it’s surprising that more couples do not invest the time and effort into preparing their marriages for success. Premarital counseling is designed to help couples work through current issues, plan for how to navigate future problems, and strengthen their relationships. The process is often described as fun and insightful and can, according to some studies, lower the possibility of divorce by 30%.

Premarital counseling is generally conducted by a licensed therapist or member of the clergy. Depending on the specific program, it’s likely that couples will complete discussions, exercises, and thoughtful practice of important relationship skills. Programs such as PREPARE/ENRICH also offer couples a detailed assessment of the strengths and opportunities for growth in their relationship. Specific topics that are likely to be addressed include communication, conflict resolution, finances, relationship roles, intimacy, and personality differences. Regardless of what you focus on in session, it’s a great way for couples to affirm to each other that the quality and strength of their marriage is a priority.

No matter your religious affiliation, length of time together, sexual orientation, age, or relationship strength, premarital counseling can be beneficial. For couples that already have a strong foundation it can reinforce good habits and deepen their bond. For couples that need more assistance, it can be a great venue to get expert guidance on how to effectively negotiate and overcome issues. When couples are on the fence about whether it’s necessary, I always invite them to think of premarital counseling as preventive care for marriages. If you put in the work now, you’ll enjoy a healthier, more fulfilling marriage later.

About the Guest Blogger:

Mandi Armond is a Marriage & Family Therapist Intern that practices within the non-profit agency, Grateful Heart Holistic Therapy in San Francisco, CA. She specializes in premarital counseling using the #1 premarital assessment and program, PREPARE/ENRICH. Mandi offers traditional one-on-two premarital counseling, as well as one-day workshops for engaged couples. For more information, please visit her website, www.mandiarmond.com.