Category: Advice for Couples
Happy Friday Ya’ll!!!
So I’m crazy excited for today’s Fab Friday, featuring my good friend Julie Barro of The Happy Healthy You. Julie and I met about a month before her May wedding at an amazing woman’s networking and empowerment group we are part of, and we instantly loved each other! One of the first things I felt being in Julie’s presence was her positive, calm, and grounding energy, which is why it’s clear she’s found her calling in helping people feel the same way. As most of you know I’m not married (yet!), but I’ve always worked to put myself in my couples’ shoes (especially my brides, since most of the stress tends to fall on them), so I could try to understand the chaos and pressures of wedding planning and offer good advice for how to cope. Since Julie just went through this process recently, I naturally decided for her expertise on both surviving and thriving through wedding planning and life in general!
Thank you Julie!!!
Below is a picture from Julie & Angelo’s post wedding winery lunch that I shot and had a blast at! xo
Dearest Beautiful Bride,
Having just recently gotten married, I know how stressful and busy the time leading up to your big day can be.
I want to share a few things you can do to help you relax and get ready to enjoy the magic of the wedding weekend. We live our lives so fast that it’s incredibly important to take the time to slow down and connect to yourself. This way, you’ll be so empowered by your inner beauty that your outer beauty will radiate from within.
6 months pre-wedding: FLIRT
Yes, I recommend you start “flirting” more than ever before. Smile at strangers. Wink at bank tellers. Nod. Touch. Make eye contact and connect with everyone around you. We think about flirting as seduction but it actually just about owning your feminine power. When you connect with others around you, you feel more connected to yourself. You feel sexy and radiant. Flirting is really just about being in that place of confidence that everyone around you is better because you are in their presence. WInk. Wink. Nudge. Nudge. SMILE: You’re the beauty bride!
3 months pre-wedding: SWEAT
Move your body. When you are in your body, it’s much harder to abuse your body. Some people love yoga, some like the gym, others enjoy swimming, kick-boxing, dancing….can you find your version of pleasurable movement? Maybe it’s just dancing around your living room to your favorite song for 3 minutes. Dance it out. Sweat it out. Enjoy your life. It’s actually quite fun!
1 month pre-wedding: READ BY CANDLE LIGHT
Light candles right before you crawl into bed with your favorite book. So simple and sweet. It will help you relax and unwind at the end of each day. Beginning a ritual like this the month before your wedding will dramatically decrease your stress.
2 weeks pre-wedding: GET A MASSAGE
Have someone touch you! There is nothing that will more quickly connect you to your body and your sexiness than having an incredible massage. Not only will you feel more relaxed, the massage will also help to move stagnant energy and release stored toxins allowing you to feel totally refreshed and renewed.
1 week pre-wedding: SURRENDER
7 days until the wedding. There is only so much you can do at this point. I recommend you chose to let go of anything isn’t done at this point. When you surrender, no set backs can get you down because you know how to look for the lesson in everything. Challenges are mere detours on this amazing adventure we call life. When things don’t go according to plan, you’re just being redirected. Say thank you. You always have a choice: You can choose to let something bother you or you can choose to take a deep breath and know everything will be just find.
Weddding Day: APPRECIATE YOUR AWESOMENESS!
You are the only version of you that has even been created. The things you used to view as insecurities are actually what make you perfectly you. You are one of a kind. You have so many special qualities. You are strong. You are beautiful. You only have one precious moment on this earth…can you live it with no regrets? Remember that the next time you walk into a room. Stand in yourself! You are perfection in feminine form! Own that feeling as you walk down the aisle.
About Julie!!!
Julie Santiago is a former Wall Street trader turned Holistic Health & Happiness Coach after realizing that her health and happiness were inextricably linked. She now shows women how to step into their purpose, live life fully and play like they never have before so they can be outrageously happy. If you’re interested in any of Julie’s work, you can find more info at www.thehealthyhappyyou.com
As my life continues to move forward (whether I want it to or not), I find myself thinking a lot about my future: as a woman, a business owner, a wife (no I’m not engaged…yet!), or a mother (no I’m not pregnant…yet!). Being in my early 30s and being in my line of work, I’m constantly seeing lots of friends and clients taking the big “next steps” in life, so growing up is heavy on my mind.
I spend a lot of time watching couples and friends interact, seeing how they complement each other and watching their love grow, develop and thrive. Having parents who are divorced, but dating someone whose parents have been married for 30 years, I often contemplate what it takes to make a relationship work (I would also like to mention that all my clients to date are still together… I like to take credit for that but really it’s because they all hecka love each other and are willing to put in the effort to make it work!). With all this heavy love-related information floating around in my head, I’ve begun talking to family therapists and mediators to find out what kinds of issues are most common in the separations/divorces they deal with, and to get their insight on how most of it could be avoided.
This brings me to Mandi, who wrote our guest feature today. Mandi is a Marriage & Family Therapist (you can read more about here at the end of the blog), and she notes the importance of getting some counseling before your big day (or after, if that’s the way it worked out), to discuss the issues that can and most likely will come up in the course of a lifetime together. Let’s be honest people, forever is a long ass time: most of us won’t have friendships as long as our relationship, so it’s important understand how to make love last beyond the early years (often full of play and party) into the grown-up chapters of life dealing with money, children, in-laws, sex (or the lack thereof), things you have in common, and the things you can’t stand! Thanks to Mandi for her insights and wisdom.
Because let’s face it…we all want our own version of “Happy Ever After.”
xo,
Why Premarital Counseling is Beneficial for All Couples
by Mandi Armond
Getting engaged is one of the most exciting times in a couple’s life together. Unfortunately, the engagement period is often consumed by wedding planning and not necessarily preparation for what’s to come afterwards, marriage. In a country where the divorce rate can reach up to 50%, it’s surprising that more couples do not invest the time and effort into preparing their marriages for success. Premarital counseling is designed to help couples work through current issues, plan for how to navigate future problems, and strengthen their relationships. The process is often described as fun and insightful and can, according to some studies, lower the possibility of divorce by 30%.
Premarital counseling is generally conducted by a licensed therapist or member of the clergy. Depending on the specific program, it’s likely that couples will complete discussions, exercises, and thoughtful practice of important relationship skills. Programs such as PREPARE/ENRICH also offer couples a detailed assessment of the strengths and opportunities for growth in their relationship. Specific topics that are likely to be addressed include communication, conflict resolution, finances, relationship roles, intimacy, and personality differences. Regardless of what you focus on in session, it’s a great way for couples to affirm to each other that the quality and strength of their marriage is a priority.
No matter your religious affiliation, length of time together, sexual orientation, age, or relationship strength, premarital counseling can be beneficial. For couples that already have a strong foundation it can reinforce good habits and deepen their bond. For couples that need more assistance, it can be a great venue to get expert guidance on how to effectively negotiate and overcome issues. When couples are on the fence about whether it’s necessary, I always invite them to think of premarital counseling as preventive care for marriages. If you put in the work now, you’ll enjoy a healthier, more fulfilling marriage later.
About the Guest Blogger:
Mandi Armond is a Marriage & Family Therapist Intern that practices within the non-profit agency, Grateful Heart Holistic Therapy in San Francisco, CA. She specializes in premarital counseling using the #1 premarital assessment and program, PREPARE/ENRICH. Mandi offers traditional one-on-two premarital counseling, as well as one-day workshops for engaged couples. For more information, please visit her website, www.mandiarmond.com.
My friends at Dreams on Dime found this and I wanted to share it with you.
The Knot surveyed 20,000 couples who got married in 2012 to find out the average cost of weddings and the top 25 most expensive cities to get married. The average cost across the country came out to nearly $25,000 with San Francisco coming in at 10th (most expensive) with costs averaging $35,344
Most of the time you’re going to be getting ready in hotel or venue’s bridal suite so you’re not going to have access to the ‘just in case’ things you have all over your home and the last thing you want is to be scrambling to find a bobby pin, scissors, spot remover, lint roller, bandaids, aspirin, chalk or the other 20 things you might need. We bring alot of these items with us to our wedding locations just in case there is an emergency, but packing a little kit of “just in case” items can be the difference between a smooth ‘getting ready’ process and a hectic one. So while I know your todo list is endless take some time to go through this list and personalize it based on little things you know you might need! Have a fabulous wedding!!!!
xo,
